Anti-aging, anti-feminist or empowering? What are fillers to you?

Over the years, I tried Botox to smooth out wrinkles. It didn’t make me happy. In fact I resented that I had bought into the notion that smoother skin made me more attractive. I also didn’t like that I diminished my own beauty, which I felt went beyond appearances. Then I began regarding fillers and anti-aging products as anti-feminist because there’s so much pressure on women to stay youthful. I had spent years being insecure and I was so done with it. However, this was my own personal journey. I know a lot of women feel good about fillers. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Why do you use them and what are the benefits to you?

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I love your story and I find it so empowering to hear. I come from the opposite side and I believe in and do all of it, everything. Plastic surgery, botox, fillers, lots of doctors visits. I monitor myself to make sure that everything is super subtle and I check myself mentally. A lot of men do it also, they just won’t admit it. I feel more beautiful and confident than I’ve ever felt in my life and love where I am in life. Perhaps there will be a time in my life when I’ll stop with the maintenance, but I don’t see that day just yet. I think everyone should do whatever makes them feel like their most beautiful self and who they are. I had 3 kids, diastasis recti (3 fingers wide) and I didn’t recognize my body afterwards. I didn’t feel like me. I did the mommy makeover and I got back to who I wanted to be. I can see it from all sides from a sociological perspective and appreciate the beauty in every person’s decision. I think the most important thing about anti-aging is not the aesthetic stuff but health. Nothing will age you faster than bad health. That is wher ethe bulk of my effort and resources go.

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Thanks for your reply. I have a friend who’s “all in” too, but whenever she’s been asked about it, I notice that she gets defensive. As such, I’ve never broached the subject. I find we all have very interesting journeys with age and beauty. So I love being able to safely ask about different perspectives here on SS. If you didn’t do the fillers and such, would it affect your self-esteem? If so, why and if not, why?

Oh yeah, I don’t get defensive about it because I’m super open and unapologetic about it. I will tell anyone who asks. I’ve done a lot of really subtle things that you would NEVER be able to tell and if I told you and showed you pics, you’ll be stunned. The key is to be really natural and find a good provider. Yes, to be honest, I think it would affect my confidence. I think it would make me sad and I can’t really tell you exactly why. I love who I am and I love myself but maybe part of who I am is also my appearance. I fully admit that I am just a little bit vain, I love beauty and love that I’m 43 and feel 30 and my body and mind are congruent in how they look and feel. I was an athlete in college and the performance of my body was very important to me and that is still #1. My health is first because if I don’t feel healthy, then all the other stuff goes to the wayside. I think the aesthetic maintenance that I do is the “self-actualization” on Maslov’s triangle. To be youthful in spirit (i.e. I surf with my kids and ride dirt bikes and still go out dancing on Thursday nights!) and for my physical body to match how I feel is the ultimate goal. I love this convo. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing!

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I love having these conversations here. We all have such personal perspectives and nothing is more personal than our own bodies.

I think these enhancements can be all of the above - anti-aging, anti-feminist and empowering. it’s not a simple answer. There are definitely corporations and doctors who take advantage of people’s insecurities and market to sell as much as possible regardless of the outcome or negative impact it could cause, mentally and physically. There’s that line of doing too much where things don’t look natural and require constant upkeep. But I also feel these products and services do serve a purpose for people who do feel happy and confident and want to just tweak or enhance their appearance. There ARE good doctors and clinics out there that offer good advice and recommendations - not just out there to sell as much product as possible but to help you achieve what you’re hoping to. I have enjoyed having a bit of botox and I feel it makes me look less grumpy or angry but I haven’t done fillers yet.

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