What are your thoughts on platonic marriages? Is there such a thing?
I’ve never heard of this as an actual thing, but this is probably exactly what we were in the last 2 years of our marriage before we got officially divorced. We handled the kids together, were and still are good friends, but I really was’t particularly attracted to him anymore. I supposed if people want to have the stability and friendship the other person affords and can get their needs met also outside of the marriage and all parties are in agreement and understanding, it works and I think a ton of people are in this situation. It just wasn’t ultimately sustainable for me because I wanted to move on and find love.
I think they can be, if done intentionally and well. I am in a platonic marriage that involved a lot of transitions and more communication than I would have ever fathomed. We are relationship anarchists and each date and love freely outside of our nest, while raising 2 kids together. We have others in our community that are also in the same types of relationships or other forms of ethical non-monogamy and it works well for many.
Welcome to the forum Whiskey! And thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience on this topic. I feel like a platonic marriage can definitely work but it all depends on whether both parties are satisfied by that or if they are seeking more. Clear boundaries and values need to be set and evaluated as time goes by, like any marriage, really. Definitely no judgement on anyone who is in these types of relationships - because different people have different needs and wants. As long as everyone is clear about that, it’ll be much easier to navigate.
This is interesting to me, and although it is not what I want, right now, relationships can really change and evolve, and so can our wants and needs. I have friends who’s relationship turned platonic after about 13 years, and they live together as loving companions even years later. I think happy relationships can look very different based on the people, and as long as there is good communication and everyone’s needs are met, I believe it can work. Same as with open relationships. I have a friend who’s a swinger, and they and their partner are super happy, and it works so well for them. I think that is one thing that is better about this point in time, that more people do not care about what people think, they do what makes them happy. On our honeymoon, my husband and I met and befriended another couple, and they told us how he has a girlfriend and they allow dating outside the marriage, as long as they openly talk about it and set boundaries with all parties. My husband and I agreed this is not for us, I can’t even share my food easily, let alone my man, but they truly are inlove and happy, and to this day we keep in touch with them. They are awesome and inspiring people, who just have a lot of love to give! Do your thing. That’s what I say. Love is love.