Childless by choice + pressure of spouse

I hope you don’t feel embarrassed for sharing… we will only be able to feel less alone if others share their struggles. If no one shared in a vulnerable way, we would feel like we were the inky ones going through our journeys. It gives others courage and bravery.

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We’re here for you! Your feelings are absolutely valid and you are NOT a drama queen or anything like that. Your voice matters and even just sharing your story you have helped others who are in the same situation who might be reading this but not commenting but perhaps gave them hope they are not alone.

Speedy recoveries for Covid and best of luck with your counselling therapy. Feel free to check in and update if you feel comfortable. The forum is here for you.

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@Kimber I hope you get better soon, and I will think good thoughts that your therapy sessions are helpful, and guide you in the direction that is best for your needs and happiness. Whatever that outcome is, and however that looks, you are totally doing the right things by being honest and taking action before anyone gets really hurt. You deserve to be happy, and we’re all here to support <3

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Keep us updated, Kimber! We are here for you, you deserve the best in life.

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you are all the most wonderfully supportive, big-hearted and open-minded people. I feel so fortunate for finding this group, thank you @JADE for creating this community. Our first session was very constructive and I’ve taken to keeping a pen and paper diary again, which is helping me remove myself from screens and also keep a tangible, physical record of how I feel at different points in the day. My therapist recommended someone for me to see separately, which I think I needed anyway.

Whatever happens with my marriage, I feel much less bleak and alone, and I sincerely thank all of you. And! On the health front, I am free of COVID =)

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Glad to hear you’re better from COVID and you had a constructive first session. I have heard that before too where couples go to therapy together but also separately individually. It’s interesting how writing things down physically really is how our heart and heads connect, instead of typing on a screen. Keep up your inner work and we are here for you.

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Hey! Hugs

Hope you guys work things out. Lots of people are just influenced biologically to have kids (I know I am when I am on my period, ha).

No one should have the right to shame or guilt you, though.

Everyone should be happy and stand by their own choice, sometimes it changes.

Wish you and your husband the best!!! <3

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Aww, thank you, hugs right back.

I appreciate the compassion and encouragement. I wish I could say this chapter is shut and we’re past it, but I don’t think it’s resolved. For him, the fact that I put into black and white pragmatics, how would he fund the child, he’s 54, say I get pregnant tomorrow, he will be an old dad. In his family, his grandpa had two full phases of families. When he was young and when he was (creepily) old.

I came into this whole scenario realizing we came from different backgrounds, but it (if I can remove the emotion from it) is fascinating how much the way I was raised in Canada vs how he was raised reveals itself in conversations and ways I could never have imagined.

Anyway this isn’t sociology or even social anthropology, it’s my life/our lives, and we’re navigating as best we can. I like to think no matter what happens in the long or short run, I will have grown from it all.

And - I have discovered an incredible community of fun, compassionate, brave women.

Have a great (checks calendar - TUESDAY? Still?) Tuesday :slight_smile:

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