Making the first move

Ok so there is a guy that I’m friends with that I’m potentially interested in taking it to more than friends. I asked him for a beer and it went great, so we went out a 2nd time and now I’ll be seeing him again on Wednesday. He’s paid both times we went out before, and the 2nd date(?) he even planned a whole tasting menu, but then I don’t really hear from him in between. I’m used to guys who text a lot more. It feels weird to be the one booking things, but he out in a LOT of effort. I can’t tell if he likes me because I’m booking the dates but he keeps mentioning wanting to see me again. Are some guys just better in person? Or am I chasing him?

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Not sure I understand. You’re the one who made the suggestion to go out both times. But, the second time, he planned the whole menu and has put a lot of effort? Sorry not sure what you’re saying. Can you clarify a bit? Thanks!

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One thing I would say is that he keeps going out with you and, if I understand correctly, he totally got into planning the menu. So there’s no indication that he doesn’t like you. That he doesn’t text much, at this stage, seems fine. Respectful of your space perhaps or just not an especially needy guy. Sounds like you’re both enjoying each other. Maybe you don’t have to have a label on it yet?

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Yeah that’s a tough one… I’d take it as a good sign that he wants to keep seeing you again. Usually a guy who is super into you will check in pretty regularly. You’ve only gone out 2/3 times so it’s still too early to put too much expectations on it yet, but if you go out more and he still doesn’t check in and want to know how you’re doing and exchange silly banter in between dates, my guess is it’s prob not what you’re looking for. I think all this stuff becomes clear really organically. By our age, we know how we want to be treated. Stuff that used to happen in our 20’s, I hope we don’t really put up with anymore and know better how to just move on. GOod luck, though, tell us how it goes on Wednesday!!!

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Yep you’re correct!!

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I will!! Ugh I hate the early dating stage

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By the way, have you texted him between dates? If not, then maybe worth a try. Maybe it gives him permission.

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keep us posted! I have zero dating advice since I haven’t dated anyone since my 20s lol but I would guess if he keeps seeing you and is planning a menu he’s into you? Some guys aren’t good with communication, including text.

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Yes I gave! And he has done it before but it’s still semi short!?

Oh I see. Well, maybe he’s just not pushy. I find that women, more than men, want everything clear. Men, meanwhile, are such guys. They have no idea, lol.

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Have you had any physical interactions beyond like hug hellos etc? Do you know his dating history? I mean, planning the menu thing is pretty beyond the norm for most guys, but have you gotten any vibes from him? I am cringing that I typed “vibes” in total sincerity.
But what is the goodbye like? How do you leave things? I know I am jumping the gun as you’ve mentioned Wednesday is the next hang. Is there any physical touching? To me it hinges on the goodbye. I haven’t dated in a whiiiiile and no idea what it’s like post (?) COVID, but I would think you can glean a lot from the parting.

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Just remember you are worth it and keep spreading that bird seed in other yards :wink: that being said he needs to put more of an effort in … On the flip side just grab him … lay a smooch down right when you see him and it will break what ever tension or anxieties he may have about kissing you !

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Any update? Has he texted since? :rofl:

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It is the worst but also fun? Kinda? One thing I find weird about being married is that there isn’t much delightful, bittersweet anticipation.

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it seems kinda fun! lol I’m a long time married old lady so it seems exciting :slight_smile:

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I have!! And he will reply and we’ll chat a bit

There’s a bit of touching but we’ll see more tomorrow if it’s a bit more flirty! Fingers crossed

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HAHAHA yes, sitting on the. edge of my seat!!!

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Yeah, the early stages are fun but a bit annoying, when trying to mind read lol It’s good that you asked him out, and it sounds like he is having a good time, since he’s going and being thoughtful when you’re together. Just text him a bit, and see how he responds. Some people are just not that into texting, or maybe he is self-conscious, but if you text him a bit casually he’ll feel more comfortable, it is hard to say. It sounds like you’re having fun, that is what matters most to start. I am pretty direct, and I like feeling chased a little, so I don’t mind being more aggressive to start, but if someone isn’t making me feel like I’m on their mind much I dropped them. That is what I loved about dating my now husband, he used to call me after dropping me off on dates, on his drive home, to tell me he had a good time and when can we go out again. Like, NOBODY does that, and he was a former ‘player’, so it showed me he really changed, and was really into me, not just playin…I was like, I like this, keep this shit UP! Tell me I’m pretty and bring me snacks LOL Keep us posted on your adventuressss!

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Ok so update: he needed to reschedule because of work!! But I’m away for the long weekend in Kelowna. So I suggested maybe Monday and we’ll see what he says. If he doesn’t reach out I’m leaving it tho.

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