Re case for separate finances

Just read this article: The Case for Separate Finances and it was really…refreshing, for lack of a better word, to see the fellow making the case for separate finances, based on self perceived and recognized inequalities between him and his wife.

As we’ve talked about with my little orb of chaos, finances are one of the biggest stressors in a relationship. Being mature enough to keep them separate and acknowledge them, without them becoming an uncomfortable elephant, seems prudent in more ways than one.

I will use the points covered in this article as I continue to assert need for paperwork of ownership of property that I am solely funding to be in my name, knowing that I live in a country where being a foreign female are two strikes against me.

Thank you for tackling this subject!

It’s so interesting… this is a topic no one wants to talk about. Men don’t want to talk about it and either todo women. I posted it on my Facebook feed and the only comments I got were from men who said - Always together! I didn’t even need or want to read the article! Ugh it made me mad. My dad told me when I was very young that he didn’t care what I did or what job Or whether I had a job, but that I always needed to have my own money. I 100% will teach my daughter nothing different and she already knows by example that women can earn and have even more than the men in the relationship. Why is this such a sensitive topic? Do the men not want their daughters to be financially independent??

Ours have always been separate and then also together. We have our separate accounts for our own income and we have a joint for joint things. Things got more heated when I was earning as much after having kids and also when our joint expenses got really high because we were constructing two homes (which I believe you are right now as well). I feel like the home building process is a super stressful one one a relationship because of all of the financial uncertainty and it feels like money is just pouring out with no stop.

I agree I like having the independence of some separation - I don’t feel the need to explain why I’m buying something or treating myself to a trip. And I encourage my partner to do the same.

House stuff together (mortgage bills repairs dog)… personal accounts for the rest …

1 Like

Yep, that’s what I did with my ex husband. When it was time to get divorced, it was so easy. I’m actually really appalled at how many women not only don’t have their own bank accounts but also have no access to any of the accounts and bills. I had a friend whose husband had changed up the mortgage to be interest only and she had no idea and she had no access to the retirement accounts.

1 Like

How can people not have their own bank account is not something I can comprehend. It’s like not having any independence. I can’t have someone telling me what to do with my money or how to spend it.

I know, like getting an allowance every month… or someone seeing every transaction and what you spend your money on.

1 Like